New Year’s Resolutions: It doesn’t stick if it’s just a fix.
Happy New Year Friends! May your coffee be strong, your hangover be light, and your children be quiet and well-behaved on this New Year’s Day.
I wonder how many of you made New Year’s resolutions to yourselves last night? What was your process setting those goals?
It’s been a long time since I made any kind of New Year’s resolution and this year was not any different. What was different this year? I set goals for myself. Something I also haven’t done in a long time. But I did not set your typical resolution. Aren’t those technically the same thing you’re probably asking yourself. Yes and no. Let’s unpack it!
I was listening to my imaginary friend Rachel Hollis’s podcast with guest Brendon Burchard (she’s not imaginary, but our friendship is, ha!) and as always I heard exactly what I needed to hear. Their conversation focused on how we can start our year off right by developing daily habits that can make us more present, intentional, and successful in 2019, and isn’t that what we all want?
Brendon said a lot of profoundly amazing things, but one thing in particular really stuck with me: It doesn’t stick if it’s just a fix. Whoa! Let’s say that again: It doesn’t stick if it’s just a fix.
Every year most of us make resolutions that are simply reactions to what we have experienced during the past year. Fixes to perceived or real problems in our lives.
I am not present enough with my children, so I need to fix that.
I am 15lbs overweight, so I need to fix that.
I watch too much TV, so I need to fix that.
Problem, problem, problem.
Think about that for a minute. What are you really doing by setting your resolutions that way? You are making your goals reactive and you are beating yourself up for basically everything that you feel is not “right” or “good enough” with yourself. Heck of a way to start the year off huh? Here is the list of all the things that suck about me, now let’s spend the next year fixing them.
Oh wait, that doesn’t motivate you? That doesn’t propel you forward into the life you really want? Reactive goals that are fixes to problems are not very motivational, are they?
What if instead you take a few moments and focus on which direction you want your life to go long-term. What dreams do you want to see happen? What big visions and goals do you have for your future self? What does your idea life look like? Now how about from there you set some goals for your current self. Connect your goals of today with your long-term dreams and watch the magic happen. Also, watch how you have the motivation to keep up with your goals for more than the first 4 weeks of the year.
Another mind blowing tidbit from Brendon Burchard to carry with you as you (hopefully) sit down to do this exercise: You should never limit your vision for your future based on your current circumstances or skills. Read that again. Take your fear and small thinking, crumble it up and toss it out this year. Make your dreams, visions and goals big and audacious!
I have one more thing I am going to urge you to do for 2019 – choose one word that is going to define who you are this year. Make it loud, make it bold, make it fantastical. Mine? Powerhouse. And no, I will not feel embarrassed or bashful about choosing such an audacious word, because that word right there is going to drive this year for me, and I will not be afraid to say that.
So my friends, I hope you take a moment to sit down with yourself and dream bigger this year, really big.
PS. If you haven’t heard of Brendon Burchard you need to go check out his book High Performance Habits immediately. It is a complete game changer. And check him out on Instagram too, he posts a ton of wisdom and inspiration.